senior mentor blog: Pete Hocking (2)

November 2007: Presence v. Proving


As a teacher I often fall into the trap of thinking that I have to know everything. It’s absurd. No one can know everything and the process of teaching and learning isn’t about proving my smarts. To my mind it’s about being present to the process of experimentation, thinking and discovery. It’s also about a certain kind of honesty. Presence to people is a lot more important than proving what you know.

I see this a lot at NUA – especially in the way that people support one another. I mean, it’s not explicit or obvious in any way. But it’s clear that those folks who, sometimes very quietly, are present to others provide a great deal of leadership to the community. Equally, attempts to rally attention don’t often go very far.

Is this what it means to be cool? It’s been so long since I was in high school that I don’t really remember.

I read recently that the process of being cool is something of a paradox. If you seek the approval and attention of coolness, you simply aren’t cool. And, no matter how you present yourself, if you’re confident about who you are, you simply radiate coolness.

I think this is what I mean about presence versus proving and part of what I’m learning at NUA. Authenticity and being there matters much more than trying to say the right thing or act the right way.